Freedom

It is Mother’s Day and I am grateful for the sober live I live today in Christ and in recovery. Though I am happy, my relationship with my own mother and my daughter is healthy today, I seem to feel a yearning for more. Is it for another greeting card or more texts wishing me "Happy Mother's Day?"

Perhaps the desire to have more is the longing to be ‘complete' because some need remains unmet and some goal unattainable. It is a natural part of the recovery process. The catch though is that I have pledged to live in the ‘supernatural’ - in the kingdom of God. So why is it then that with all His blessings the shameful sense of loss still lingers?

*I read a devotion this morning that said early experiences with shame in childhood are tough to uproot. "First in is often last out.” For example, memories of bullying, failing an exam or being left back a grade often result in shame. Another common source of shame in our culture is sexual abuse. I know this well and it has only been an encounter with the person of Jesus Christ and His finished work at the cross that has freed me from the pain of the horrible scourge of abuse and trauma.

That shame is no longer mine because Christ has taken my shame when He endured the awful scourging for my sake. So, I can rejoice today. Feelings are not always an accurate barometer of the climate in my heart. It’s bright and sunny!

If you’re holding a sense of remorse or guilt, take a moment to write about it. No one has to read it but you and Jesus. Letting it out takes the steam out of it so it won't load you down or take the wind out of your sails. Go for God because Jesus has liberated us from shame!

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."

Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."

18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, Luke 4:18 (KJV)

Healer of the Brokenhearted by Derek Prince Ministries

There is an ongoing ministry of the Holy Spirit that is very special—a ministry to the brokenhearted. It is a ministry to those whose hearts are wounded. If you carry a wound inside you, turn to God and say, “God, this is a time of restoration. It is a time of regathering. You are healing the brokenhearted. You are binding up their wounds. Lord, You know the wound I have carried so long in my heart. Will You heal me?”

And the invisible finger of God, the Holy Spirit, will reach down where no surgeon can reach and touch that wounded place in your life to bring you healing and restoration.

http://derekprince.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000088297

High Octane

The Lord is saying "High Octane". 

It seemed like a strange word to hear while praying. Now, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this has been a season traveling a bumpy road. It's like I could barely catch a breath when here comes another dip or hurdle - one after another. So while I'm on my face before the Lord about this and He says, "High octane," and not being mechanically inclined, I have to ask for understanding.  

Octane ratings or an octane number is a standard measure of the performance of the engine fuel. The higher the octane number the more compression the fuel can withstand before detonating or igniting.  In broad terms, fuels with high octane ratings are used in high-performance engines that require higher compression ratios.*

Whoa, okay then, these pressures of the world, these attacks of the enemy and the oppression is actually having a distillation and refining effect. This testing, the successive evaporation and condensation process, is purifying my faith, gifts and prophetic calling. This compression is the very thing that is distilling 'jet fuel' in my spirit to launch me like a rocket into the heavenly realms of the supernatural to pull down strongholds, to have victory and to 'occupy' for Christ-sake.

Praise the Lord! Church, hear what the Lord is saying I'm sure to you as well. Concerning your ministry and your calling, He has declared and has decreed unto thee "HIGH OCTANE".

“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:8-9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

"You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you; And light will shine on your ways.

Job 22:28

*Wikipedia

The Valley

In this blog I have talked about a lot of things. Some topics have been nice, some have been sweet, and all have been nicely wrapped up into a neat 'scriptural bow'. But actually and candidly speaking, I've been in a place of disarray that has been anything but tidy, spic or span. It's been bitter and felt gritty. May I explain? 

First let me say that I have found that when one writes a blog, column or a devotion you want to inspire, encourage and maybe even entertain your readers. You at least don't want to lose your audience. So you attempt to sound witty, be profound and always say something positive.  For example, when I have experienced a distressing event or felt depressed, I endeavored to talk about how I found a verse in the Word that brought light to my situation or how I received encouragement in an unlikely way and everyone lived happily ever after, as the saying goes. It's like I have been compelled to put a happy 'Facebook-ish' post in each blog and conclude with a warm and fuzzy Snapchat grin.

Not today my friends, there will be no "Don't you wanna be like me?", Instagram photos or stirring "This revolution will not be televised," epilogues here. No, because that has rarely been my reality and it's never that simple and answers to my prayers have seldom come quickly. 

So to keep it real – straight 100 - as the saying goes, and to be sincere, I've been in a valley. It has been the valley of decision and the valley of the shadow of death. Grief, depression and loss. Not so pretty words right? However, it is an honest appraisal of what I been going through. 

But you know what I have learned? If things had not been so bad I wouldn't have the appreciation of how good my God is. If I hadn't carried such a heavy burden I wouldn't cherish the lightness of His yoke. He's been doing the heavy lifting ya'll. And what I've also realized is that in the valley is where the rain falls and the water pools. It's where the washing occurs and it's where the meadow is most green.

Here is the path to the higher life: down, lower down! Just as water always seeks and fills the lowest place, so the moment God finds men abased and empty, His glory and power flow in to exalt and to bless.” 
― Andrew Murray, Humility

Unstuck

At the beginning of this year I had determined to see some drastic changes take place in my life. You know, "Out with the old and in with the new?" But, can I get honest? Since January1st I haven't felt so motivated or even been very disciplined. It's kind of like my 'get up and go' has got up and went. I have been stuck.  So I asked the Lord, "What's up?"  His answer surprised me - unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness, me?! And what is it about unforgiveness that’s causing me to stay stuck anyway? Is it because I can't be truly thankful for all the Lord has done for me and how He has forgiven me when I'm not really letting other people's past transgressions go? Ouch!

Now, maybe I'm taking a leap here but since the Word says, And they overcame him (the enemy) by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; (Revelation 12:11) and another leap, during Passover, the hyssop was used to apply the blood on the doorposts so that death would  passover, it worked.  They were saved – they were delivered.  Okay, then since I'm looking for answers to get past this "stuckness" I will go a little further and ask why was hyssop used to apply the blood?  I understand the power of the blood but why use hyssop? Was it merely because it was readily available to the Hebrews or maybe the Lord had a more profound purpose. Perhaps a far reaching and deeper meaning can be applied to our lives today?  I think so.  Hyssop, a herb from the mint family, is aromatic, bushy and wild,  just like our praise should be.

Therefore, I believe my unrestrained, sweet-smelling and undignified wild and thankful praise (my testimony) offered to the Lord of what the  blood of Jesus has done for me, like my sobriety, deliverance, redemption and forgiveness will cover, save and deliver me - and get and keep me unstuck, hallelujah!

All right, here I go, "I am forgiven, whoa! I forgive others and I forgive myself too!  Yes! Thank You Jesus, thank you!"

In Him [Christ] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace. (Ephesians 1:7)

A Truly Happy and Prosperous, New Year

Happy New and Prosperous Year to you, Beloved of the Lord!

 Looking back over this past year, as you have surely read in my blog, I have had my share of bouts feeling  'blue'. I cried out to the Lord in prayer and asked for many things but most oftenly a relationship and a love I could call my own. And as the year came to a close I again could hear myself saying "Finally, Lord, please?!" in this new year.  Well, it's always amazing to me that when I finally get serious with the Lord and pray in earnest, I always get my answer. (James 5:16)

So today, as I began to read about the blood of Jesus in a newfound devotion*, it talked about a lavish love poured out for all of us. It referred to the blood sprinkled on the mercy seat to obtain our freedom from sin so that we may draw close to the Lord. Jesus gave all He had for a relationship with me - with us. In the devotion it explained:

On the Day of Atonement, the blood of the sacrifices had to be sprinkled seven times before God the Father. (See Leviticus 16:14.) We see this regulation exactly fulfilled in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross in the New Testament. First, His sweat became blood. Second, the Roman soldiers struck Him in the face with their fists and with rods. Third, they flogged Him with a Roman scourge. Fourth, His beard was pulled out. Fifth, thorns were pressed deep into His scalp. Sixth, His hands and feet were pierced with nails. Seventh, His side was pierced with a spear. 
That is the measure of Christ’s love. Think about that staggering reality and know that it is the measure of God’s love. It is extravagant, to say the least.

Wow, that picture of blood, actually love, being poured out, really transforms my thinking.  That blood that was poured out from the foundation of the world still calls out today to me saying, "Beloved."

So in this new year I truly will prosper - in my heart and in my soul (my mind, will, and emotions). The love I prayed for so earnestly, and has atoned for so much, has been extravagantly offered to me,
and to you.

 Until next time have a very happy and PROSPEROUS new year!

 Matthew 27:28-50

*  Courtesy Derek Prince Ministries 

Five Smooth Stones...IJS

When hearing the story of David and Goliath I have often asked the Lord, "Why five smooth stones?"  Why not one, sharp branch, thrown like a spear or one, huge boulder rolled down a cliff? I mean really, the Bible does not record either that David stopped to pray about taking down Goliath. He did not march around him like Joshua and the walls of Jericho or fast about the situation like Queen Esther did about the evil plans of genocide by Haman. No, this giant was defeated quickly and strategically by a confident, forward attack in the sure hand of a shepherd with staff in one hand and five smooth stones in the other. Bam!

Okay, but why 'five' stones? Perhaps each stone foretells of the 5-fold ministry? For instance, there are five ministry expressions listed in Ephesians 4:11, ...he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; Also, are we not defined as 'living stones' in the Body of Christ? It says in 1 Peter 2:5, 'Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.' And further in Ephesians 4:16, 'from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love..' we are defined as a unit.

Still, the question remains, why 'smooth' stones? Answer: smooth stones fly accurately! These stones had been in the river long enough to have become smooth. They had undoubtedly been jostled, knocked about and been broken in the river. For a long time they bumped against other stones in the water, becoming chiseled, accurate weapons for a future coming king.

Beloved, I believe we are those five smooth stones. We are being jostled, bumped, and broken in the water (the Spirit) chiseled to be smooth and to be accurate. We are designed and purposed to work together to be an effective and apparently a lethal weapon against our common enemy but also for the loving support and vitality of one another. 

Let us accept our shape (function) and our part on the team. Let's not forsake the smoothing process. Let's stay in the river. I'm just saying...

1 Samuel 1:40