She Wields A Sword

Journal

A Year in Retrospect

So, go ahead—let everyone know it!

   Tell the world how he broke through

   and delivered you from the power of darkness and has gathered us together from all over the world. He has set us free to be his very own!

Psalm 107:2-3 (TPT)

This year started with a bang, a bang to the head that is. I found myself having to reckon with my assumptions and what I discovered was that one cannot assume they completely understand or comprehend prophetic words or even impressions we feel we’ve received from the Lord. So when circumstances did not materialize the way I envisioned, I was disillusioned. Thus, what then shaped my year to follow was discouragement, disheartenment, and dismay. To sum it up, this year, I was depressed!

Now on hold on, don’t go yet, I write about these Four Deadly ‘D’s in a journal devoted to “wielding a sword” and empowerment, not to focus on the negative but to expose in a very vulnerable way what can go wrong when you want everything to go right, and how by the Grace of God, we once again may have a renewed vision of hope, get reestablished confidence, and obtain restored freedom.  

Our humanity cries out for deliverance and statistics reveal that more and more people in our culture are experiencing the effects of some form of trauma or mental illness. Former Director of the National Institute of Mental Health Thomas Insel wrote about the commonality of mood disorders. “Our best estimate of the number of adults with any diagnosable mental disorder within the past year is nearly 1 in 5, or roughly 43 million Americans. Therefore, what happened to me was not uncommon. Still, as a Believer I would like to think that I had enough faith or “Word in me” to side step it.

However, what I did not see coming was the shocking revelation of my own naivety that I could be all things, at all times, to everyone. And what added insult to injury, I mistakenly called this, ‘ministry’.  It is not the loss of a belief system that crushes but the doused illusion of being on point that hit below the belt.

Therefore, compounded by my own failings to set appropriate boundaries, I blamed people in authority, the Church and even the Lord, and that nearly stripped me of all of my faith. I did not know it at the time, but looking back, the real issue was my inability to rest and rest in the Lord.

Rest is the element that sustains when the going gets tough. It is the life of the Spirit within that compels us to move forward, to go up, to go on and to not give up. King David wrote,

“My soul finds rest in God alone. He alone is my rock and salvation. My hope comes from God alone. And He alone is my rock” (Psalm 62:1-2 NIV).

The Hebrew word rest conveys the idea of silence, of being quiet, of being still. It’s related to the idea of Psalm 46 “Be still and know that I am God.” It’s related to the words of Jesus: “Peace, be still.” Thus, this is what I needed - rest.

In retrospect, why was I so surprised at the painful trials I was experiencing, as if something strange was happening to me? It wasn’t strange at all but the hand of God faithfully working all things out for my good and bringing me back, full circle. Christ was giving me and still is, beauty for ashes. He’s restored my Spirit-filled hope, renewed my God-inspired confidence, and reignited my Christ-bought and won freedom.  Hallelujah!

Merry Christmas Beloved, and have a very happy, restful and hope-filled New Year!

Elizabeth-Marie ‘Allison’ on December 24, 2018

She Wields A Sword

Sierra Madre, CA, 91024

Bamboo

I did not want to cut off the stalk of brown stem whose trunk and roots had withered. The shoot that had grown out from its side had now turned a palsied shade of mustard and had eventually shown the same signs of demise. But finally, I felt 'we' had no other choice and nothing left to lose. I clipped, I discarded and replanted. And I held my breath. 

Now, as I stand and look at the cutting of Bamboo that was once bent over, limp and dying a slow withering death, is now alive again, upright, green, and taking on new strength. 

Life signs have returned and I wonder why I held on the dead parts so long.

He Cannot Be Hidden

Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. (Mark 7:24) 

 Is there a way about us that tells others of Jesus? I mean, without opening our mouths or donning a cross, is there a manner in which we carry ourselves, conduct our affairs or speak to others reveal who lives inside? I think so.

 For example, I have noticed that when I enter the lunchroom at my place of employment, where the atmosphere is often rambunctious with debates about scandalous, political headlines or the latest sports scores, the conversations are hushed. It could be my imagination! Yet, I have prayed about it and the Lord showed me that when he enters a house, his presence couldn’t be kept secret. 

 As our passage speaks of, when Jesus entered the house in Tyre, though he desired to keep his presence hidden, he could not. The Gospel does not say that miracles were taking place as people passed by or whether a light was beaming from the windows, whatever the case was, Jesus resided in that place, and his presence could not be hidden.
 

Thinking back to the lunchroom, well, perhaps it was that I bowed my head in thanks, perhaps! Anyway, one doesn't put a lamp under a bushel. I'm just saying!

Matthew 5:14-16;  1 Corinthians 6:19

"Taking an axe to the root of shame and rejection."

About Testimonies

Recently I was asked to share my testimony, the story of my drug dependence and deliverance, to a group of future ministers. I have to admit that I was nervous and shaken. You see, my narrative of alcoholism, drug addiction and abuse is very personal and not something I have wanted to reveal. It has definitely not been my leading introduction when meeting people like, "Hi, my name is Allison and I was always the first to the party and the last one to leave!" No, to tell the story of what happened and how the turnabout finally came, is easy and even an honor to those who are still struggling with the same things, but to 'Church-folk', well that is a whole other matter.

So there I was, vacillating on whether to neatly trim my message or lay it all out and let the Lord do with it as He willed. I was distressed to say the least. When the day came that I was to address the congregation, I was startled by a Tweet from a complete stranger. It said, "You have been given back your voice. You are bold as a lion; the Lion of Judah."

Whoa! If that wasn't an answer to prayer and confirmation, I don't know what is. Therefore, I went forth, boldly, not looking at their faces, and shared, in detail, what my life was like and how Jesus Christ set me free. Funny, there were no hisses or boos - no standing ovations. I just had obeyed the Lord, nothing more and nothing less. Perhaps.

I share this to encourage you to be bold. To be your honest and your most true, authentic self. This is the only way God can use us and get the glory out of our lives. And isn't that what we are all praying for? I have heard it said, "It doesn't take all that", and "Honey, don't tell people all of your business!" But at what point do we allow the Lord to use what He purchased at such a high price? Hmm, IJS.

"And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death. Revelation 12:11


I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NRSV)

Wait

Now that the Autumn season is upon us, I feel a growing anticipation for all this time of year brings as I pull out my hats and sweaters, enjoy the cooler air and notice the changing colors of falling leaves. So in looking forward to the year ahead I tap on an article I found posted in a Farmer's newsletter about successful Fall planting. It read,"Prepare the soil." I was intrigued that the recommendation did not start by saying to first select the herbs or vegetables you desire or to find the location you want to start your garden. No, it said that careful preparation of a garden begins with clearing the soil of any weeds, twigs and rocks.

It went on to explain how the next vital step in creating a productive garden is to feed the ground with nutrients such as mulch and fertilizer. All along, watering and turning the soil to reveal and remove any once hidden roots. It is only after this extensive and patient work - considering the climate and season - can the desired bulbs, seeds and seedlings be planted.

Now, the Lord began to speak to me, gently explaining that this is the same process we go through while waiting on Him. For example, since coming to the Lord, He has been tilling the soil of my heart by clearing it of the hard rocks, painful thorns and persistent weeds of the past. He has also been feeding me with His Word and 'fertilizing' my spirit with worship and the faithful, fellowship of the Saints. All the while uncovering and uprooting the tangled remnants of unforgiveness, guilt, shame and rejection. Though my repeated prayer was often, "God, are we there yet?" I see now He's been consistently, methodically and lovingly getting me 'there' all along!

I am encouraged! Perhaps the picture of a farmer at work speaks to you as well and if need be, refreshes your spirit for the journey. What might He be planting in your life? For me, I do not know entirely, I just have to wait and see, but whatever He's chosen will take root, bloom and bring a bountiful harvest!

Don’t be impatient. Wait for the Lord, and he will come and save you! Be brave, stouthearted, and courageous. Yes, wait and He will help you. Psalm 27:14 (TLB)

I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry. Psalm 40:1

To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

Endeavoring to Love

This is a new season. We can sense it and we can feel it. It's tingly and even prickly in the air. Things are changing and God is doing something new. (Isaiah 43:19) Honestly this has been said all year long. It seems to be in every devotion, blog and podcast. Hope sprang up in me as I anticipated new perspectives, adventures and new relationships and even love. Then came life. And the wait. 

Ironically, I found it more difficult to stay the course with these promises pending than when I was going along, day to day - business as usual. I was as the verse says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." Has that ever happened to you? Is it happening now? Well, more than anything today God wants us to be encouraged. He IS doing a new thing and it's better than we can imagine! He is not only bringing love into our lives but expanding our capacity to love.

We are called to love. Not just our immediate families and the Brethren but also the alien, orphan, and the widow. And not just in the literally sense. The Lord is expanding our capacity (sensitivity and ability and availability) to care for the alienated, rejected and them without. I often feel like I'm at the top at that list, but that's for another blog!

Anyway, endeavor to love. It will be met with opposition, but all worthwhile pursuits are. We will succeed!


And may the Lord cause you to increase and overflow with love for one another and for everyone, just as we also do for you. (1 Thes. 3:12)

#kindness #godliness #love #godislove #hope

We Need Rain

I pray for rain. I pray for spiritual rain. We need the rain to water the seeds of faith sown in the fields of our hearts and the seeds of His Word. The seeds of faith need to be watered. The heat of the sun is coming and the foul of the air will eat up the seed before it takes root. 

Also, Rain has a dual implication. First as refreshing where there has been dryness and barrenness (Joel 2:23-29). Second, as restoration where there has been loss (Isa. 28:11-12).*

"Holy Spirit, we pray for Your rain to water the seeds in the soil of our hearts so that  The Word of the Lord takes root, produces fruit and spreads throughout the earth. We ask for restoration and where there is dryness, barrenness or loss we asked for refreshing. 

Thank You Lord, in Jesus name, amen."

 “You heavens above, rain down my righteousness;
    let the clouds shower it down.
Let the earth open wide,
    let salvation spring up,
let righteousness flourish with it;
    I, the Lord, have created it.

Isaiah 45:8

*Jack Hayford  Symbols of the holy spirit