Its been a long, hard road. At this point in my salvation and in my recovery, I am coming to accept that there is nothing good in me except the goodness of God, and what I receive, one day at a time from Him. After all, I have been indoctrinated with the humanist belief that I must pull myself up by my own bootstraps, put my best foot forward, "make it a great day," and tell myself, "I got this." All of the well-meaning mantras and good-intentions from psychologists have not understood this one thing, at least for me, is that when I accepted Christ as Lord, I emptied myself out and asked for His life and His power, and trusted that, "It is no longer I that live but Christ in me," Galatians 2:20) The old self, which is unbelieving, rebellious, and loving sin, died with Christ, supernaturally, but it us not until now that I am beginning to understand although I search for strength, ability, talent, and even greatness in my self, that mission is fruitless. It is in God alone in whom I live and move and have my being Acts 17:28.
I am an empty vessel, and I need to go and be filled (2 Kings 4:3-5), I cannot replenish myself. My salvation is not designed to be autonomous or self-reliant, I need Christ and His body to thrive. With this On this day, at the point of my journey, I am truly humbled and encouraged. All the striving and efforts but seemingly gaining little ground, as the sowing I have done in the flesh has reaped all that it ever could, frustration, because my hope and my life is not what I make of it, but it is what I have received.
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